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Žrtva kurbana – iz druge perspektive

Piše: Abida Ganić

Dan pred bajram doterali smo četiri ovna. Jedan je bio mali, a ostali su bili zreliji i veći. Ogradili smo ih ispred kuće, gde su proveli noć. Halima je jedva čekala jutro da opet vidi njene „jage“. Kad se probudila izašla je i pružala hranu kroz ogradu. Mali ovan je jeo iz njenih ručica… ogradili su ih da ne vide sudbinu svojih drugova. Ipak, najmanji ovan je video… do zadnjeg trenutka je blejao i skakutao, valjda se nadao da će uspeti da izbegne… gledali smo se kroz prozor kad god bih ga otvorila. Pokušala sam da shvatim šta znači taj pogled. Pitala bih se gde mu je majka…

Otvorili su ogradu i odveli ga. Okrenula sam glavu i zatvorila prozor. Nešto me steglo u želucu. Nije mi bilo do mesa tog dana… a ni sledećeg. Sve se završilo… nije se više čulo blejanje Halimine jage…

Kažu da je ranije bilo drugačije za vrijeme Kurban-Bajrama. Drugačije, jer su ljudi odgajali stoku koju će tada žrtvovati. Drugačije, jer su deca rasla sa ovcama, jer su mesecima oplakivali svoje ljubimce. Moja mama i dan danas uzdiše za ovčicama iz detinjstva. Kaže, kad se samo seti, opet joj je žao. Priča mi kako su molile rahmetli baba da to ne radi…

Ne mogu da se ne pitam, da li kurbanske žrtve treba da podnesemo i mi sami? Da žrtvujemo svoja osećanja radi Allahovog zadovoljstva? Zamislim opet kako je to bilo, kad je klanje kurbana bilo ravno žrtvovanju jednog člana porodice? I kako se uopšte treba prema tome odnositi?

Odmah mi je pala napamet žrtva Ibrahima a.s., koji je bezpogovorno krenuo da žrtvuje svog sina, Ismaila a.s. Pokušavam u glavi da izgradim sliku tog izvanrednog morala i bogobojaznosti, kad se čovek dotle pokori, da potisne svoja unutrašnja osećanja i razmišljanja. Kako mu je Allah dž.š. odmah dao nagradu za to, a time otklonio njegovu veliku muku i bol.

Puno stvari mi je palo napamet…“Čujemo i pokoravamo se“…

Svakako da Kurban Bajram ima puno pouka, do kojih ponekad treba doći drugim putem. Moj put je sada bio drugačiji. Spoznaju pomogla je činjenica da naš Gospodar zna ono što mi ne znamo, i da je ono što nam je propisao dobro za nas, iako se nama, ponekad, drugačije čini. Na kraju kurbani će se podijeliti, neko će se od toga okoristiti, sve mudrosti Kurbana tu su, samo ih treba pronaći…




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