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Šta savremena psihologija kaže o hadisu: „Žena je stvorena od rebra…“?

Preveo: Nedim Botić

Mnogi ljudi nakon što pročitaju hadise koji govore o ženama, zauzmu sumnjičavi prema stav prema njima. Kažu: „To su šovinistički hadisi“. Navodim primjer čuvenog hadisa u kojem se govori da je žena stvorena od krivog rebra i ukoliko je pokušate ispraviti, samo ćete je slomiti. Dakle, trebaš u njoj uživati onakva kakva je, trebaš je prihvatiti onakvom kakva je. Ukoliko je pokušaš ispraviti i slomiti, razvest ćeš se od nje. Ljudi čuju ovaj hadis, komentarišu: „Kako je ovo šovinistički!“ Ali zašto požurujemo s donošenjem takvog zaključka? Zašto ne bismo prvo pogledali u značenje ovog hadisa?

Prije nego što sam se oženio, pročitao sam knjigu „Muškarci su s Marsa, a žene su s Venere“ o kojoj su mi svi pričali. Šta je u njoj pisalo? Pisalo je da ne biste trebali pokušavati riješiti ženine probleme umjesto nje, nemojte očekivati da ona bude poput vas, morate je prihvatiti takvom kakva jest. Nemojte od nje očekivati da se mnogo promijeni, samo budite tu za nju. Ponekad će ona uraditi neke stvari koje za vas neće imati smisla, morate prihvatiti da ćete doći u takve situacije. Razlog tome je što su ‘muškarci s Marsa, a žene su s Venere’, tj. po mnogo čemu su različiti kao da dolaze s dvije različite planete. Kada sam pročitao spomenuti hadis, shvatio sam da se radi o identičnoj poruci.

Ovaj hadis se obraća muškarcima. Garantujem vam, kada biste sve muškarce iz ove konferencije stavili u jednu sobu, svi bi počeli pričati o tome kako bi voljeli da su njihove žene razumnije, da hoće vidjeti neke stvari onako kako ih mi vidimo, zašto one ne razmišljaju kako mi razmišljamo? Ukoliko muškarci budu ovako razmišljali, postat će nesretni i živjet će u nesretnim brakovima, jer nikada neće uspjeti u namjeri da njihove supruge budu identične njima. Nikada ih neće uspjeti ispraviti do kraja. Morate ženinu ličnost prihvatiti onakvom kakva jest i ukoliko tako postupite, možete zajednički provesti sretan život.

Shvatio sam da se u ovom hadisu nameće ista poruka kao i u čuvenoj knjizi „Muškarci su s Marsa, a žene s Venere“. Prije nego osudimo ovakve hadise, zašto ne bismo zastali i zapitali se kakvu nam to mudrost i poruku želi prenijeti Resulullah, sallallahu alejhi ve sellem? Možda se u ovom slučaju obraća muškarcima i poručuje im da moraju promijeniti način na koji gledaju svoje brakove i odnos prema svojim ženama?

Kada naiđemo na problem oko razumijevanja određenog hadisa, koji nam se učini neobičnim ili čudnim, zapitajmo se: „Gdje leži korijen problema? Da li se problem zaista krije u hadisu ili u meni? Zašto prebrzo donosim zaključke? Zašto čitam hadise na način na koji to radim? Zašto nisam spreman da pročitam tumačenja uleme u kojima se ukazuje na poruke i mudrosti tog hadisa?“

Autor: dr. Jonathan Brown Izvor: www.muslimmatters.com

 




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