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Pismo sestri koja žudi za hidžabom

Pismo sestri koja žudi za hidžabom pismaEuzu billahi mineš-šejtanir-radžim! Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim! Es-selamu alejkum, poštovana sestro! Ovo pismo upućujem tebi koja žudiš za hidžabom. Dok nisam bila pokrivena, tekstovi na tu temu mnogo su mi pomagali, a danas kada ja svoju najdragocjeniju krunu nosim već dvije godine, elhamdulillah, mislim da mogu i ja ponešto napisati o tome. Veći bih naglasak stavila na onu duhovnu stranu nego na sva objašnjenja kako i zašto sam se pokrila, sva ta priča može se sažeti u tri riječi: “Allah me uputio”. Uzvišeni me počastio nečim najljepšim na dunjaluku, a još više sam se osjećala počastvovanom jer sam bila od rijetkih tada, a sada, elhamdulillah, broj “odabranih”se povećao. On je još uvijek neznatan, ali, elhamdulillah, on se povećao, i to je veliki napredak. Kao što rekoh, želim da se dotaknem više duhovne strane, to jest onog što sam nosila u sebi prije hidžaba i iščezavanju toga kada sam, uz Allahovu pomoć, donijela konačnu odluku.

Znaš onaj osjećaj kada imaš sve, ali opet nešto nedostaje, tragaš za tim nečim, ali nikako ne možeš da ga dostigneš. Eto, tako je meni bilo još od puberteta. Nisam radila mnoštvo stvari koje moje vršnjakinje jesu, elhamdulillah, ali njima nisam mogla objasniti zašto je to ne radim. Kako da nekome objasnim da sam bogobojazna ako na meni nema vidljive bogobojaznosti (hidžaba)! Proživljavala sam mnoge stvari i uvijek ostajala nedorečena, nikad potpuno prihvaćena, ni u džahilskim ni u mu’minskim krugovima. Zašto? Iz jednog prostog razloga jer u tom pogledu srednji put ne postoji. Čovjek mora da se odluči kuda hoće da hodi, bojala sam se da me ipak šejtan ne pobijedi pa da ne odem na onu stranu lošeg. Elhamdulillah, Allah Uzvišeni mi je pomagao i sa svojih 17 godina (kasnije nego što je potrebno, ali elhamdulillah) stavila sam svoju krunu, pomalo u strahu, pomalo zbunjena, ali sam je ipak stavila.

Danas nakon dvije godine mogu sa sigurnošću reći da nisam nikad ni na tren pomislila zašto sam to uradila, a mnogi su mi govorili da ću se pokajati… I jesam – sada se kajem i žalim za svakim danom provedenim bez hidžaba. Kada osjetiš slast čokolade, ne možeš je nikad ostaviti, a tako je i sa hidžabom, jer hidžab, kako ga mnogi tumače nije teret. Sestro, to je ljepota… Našla sam konačno svoje društvo koje me prihvata, tu sam “domaća”. Konačno negdje u potpunosti i ja pripadam, našla sam ono davno traženo.

Sestro mila, mogla bih još mnogo da pišem, ali bojim se da ti ne dojadim, ali znaj da sam ti napisala ovo pismo jer ti želim dobro i na onom i na ovom svijetu, a budi sigurna da ti ne želim zlo, kao što ti žele dunjalučari.
Mila sestro, Allah ti dao svako dobro i, inšallah, uputio te…

Es-selamu alejkum!

E.M.

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