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Kako sam se zbog teške bolesti vratila Gospodaru

Piše: hfz. Nedim Botić

Nedavno mi se obratila M. H., koja se zbog teške bolesti vratila vjeri i promijenila život nabolje. Obratila se meni, jer prolazi kroz slična zdravstvena iskušenja sa kojima sam se ja lično borio duže od deset godina, Radi se o bolesti zvanoj ulcerozni kolitis/Morbus Chron, veoma teškom oboljenju probavnog trakta (prvenstveno debelog crijeva) koja se manifestuje gubljenjem težine, neizdrživim bolovima u stomaku, velikim brojem posjeta toaletu, krvarenjem i izbacivanjem sluzi, a ostavlja veliki trag i na nervnom sistemu, jetri, želucu, srcu, krvnoj slici. Liječenje ove bolest  je za zvaničnu medicinu nepoznanica, kao i sam nastanak bolesti ni njen tok. Jedina opcija koja preostaje jeste hirurška intervencija i saniranje posljedica.

Ova bolest koliko god bila teška, zna biti i prekretnica u životu ljudi da se vrate vjeri. Takav je slučaj bio i sa sestrom čiju ćemo ispovijest prenijeti u ovom članku. Zbog ove bolesti ona je počela učiti Kur’an napamet i želi da postane hafiza. Stavila je hidžab prije par mjeseci. Kaže da nikad nije bila sretnija. Poslušajmo njenu priču…

‘Ja sam prije tri godine saznala da bolujem od Chronove bolesti. Samo dragi Allah zna kroz šta sam sve prolazila i još prolazim. Ali ni jedan dan svoje bolesti ne žalim jer me je moja bolest vratila vjeri. Moja bolest je mene vratila mome Gospodaru. I hvala dragom Allahu, jer ova bolest je moja blagodat. Dovim dragom Allahu da me ozdravi, ali ako će mene ozdravljenje vratiti nevjerstvu ili nemaru prema Allahu, onda ne želim nikad da ozdravim.

Pitam se: ‘Gdje bih sad bila da nisam oboljela? Šta bih radila, s kim bi se družila, u šta bih vrijeme provela?’ Hvala dragom Allahu učim Kur’an i elhamdulillah ide mi jako dobro. Moja želja je, ako Allah da, da postanem hafiza.

Imam zdravstvene probleme od djetinstva. Kao dijete osjećala sam se manje vrijedna od druge djece. Tako da sam uvijek bila jako povučena, stidna, i uvijek me neki strah pratio. Kad sam se udala ni tada nije bilo bolje. Strah od naroda je bio sve veći i veći. Izbjegavala sam druženje sa narodom. Uvijek sam se pitala zašto baš ja? Zašto je meni Allah dao ovaj strah od njih? Šta su oni bolji od mene?

I eto onda sam saznala za svoju bolest i to me je oborilo. Bila sam psihički i fizički na dnu. Nema gdje nisam tražila lijeka. Išla psihologu. Ali ništa mi nije pomoglo. Uvijek sam osjećala tu prazninu u sebi.

I jednog jutra, sjećam se bio je decembar. Odlučila sam da klanjam sabah. Uputila sam dragom Allahu dovu. Molila sam ga da mi pomogne. Od tog dana ne propuštam namaze. Čitala sam Kur’an sa prijevodom. I kroz to čitanje shvatila sam suštinu našeg postojanja na ovom dunjaluku. Hvala Allahu, pokrila sam se prije dva mjeseca. Kur’an je moj svakodnevni prijatelj. Praznina u meni je nestala. Strah je nestao. I elhamdulillah, bolovi nisu jaki kao prije.  Sad, nakon toliko godina patnje, znam šta mi je nedostajalo. Falio mi moj voljeni Gospodar, i Časni Kur’an! To je bilo rješenje za sve moje probleme.“

Ova potresna ispovijest nam poručuje da i najteža iskušenja u sebi kriju i najveće blagodati. Kroz ‘belaje’ dragi Allah odgaja čovjeka, čisti od grijeha, podiže naše stepene, otvara vrata pokajanja, daje nam priliku da preispitamo naš život i promijenimo se nabolje; kroz teškoće jačamo, razvijamo se, postajemo bolji. U životu nema napretka bez truda, pa i boli. Tek kasnije, vidimo da se u onome što je bila bol, krilo veliko dobro. Zato ne treba očajavati zbog problema, već ih iskoristiti na pravi način, u povratku Allahu i promjeni života nabolje.