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Boji se da stupi u brak zbog teškoće odgoja djece

Pitanje: Moj je problem u ženidbi, već punim 29 godinu, a još se nisam oženio, zaposlen sam i imam mogućnosti da se ženim, ali kad čujem za probleme koje dolaze s brakom, kao npr. Problem vaspitavanja djece, kad čujem ili čitam priče o obavezama djece naspram svojih roditelja i njihovim problemima, to me odvrati od ženidbe, imajući u vidu da sam ja, inšallah jedan, od onih koji poštuju svoje roditelje, jer se moji roditelji mole za mene. Kaže mi otac: “Ja sam zadovoljan tobom. Hvala Allahu što me je darovao sinom poput tebe.” Oni žele da se ja oženim, ali uvijek kad hoću da se oženim, obuhvati me neki strah, osjećam se smirenim ovako neoženjen, ali razmišljam o roditeljima koji žele da se obraduju mojom ženidbom, a meni od dunjaluka ne treba ništa, ja razmišljam kako ću na vrijeme da kanjam namaz, kako da budem, što je moguće više poslušniji roditeljima.

Odgovor: Hvala pripada Allahu!

Jedna od spletki koje šejtan radi da čovjek u njih upadne jeste i to da ostavi istinu bojeći se da ne upadne u grijeh. Susteže se nekih poželjnih stvari bojeći se da ne uradi nešto što ne valja. Neradi dobro bojeći se da ne uradi neko zlo. Ovošejtan nagovara, želeći da unese zle misli u srca čovjeka, želeći time da ga spriječi u njegovom napretku, uz izgovor da je mnogo onih koji su propali, ali Allah nam je naredio da se uzdamo u Njega, da napredujemo, On će nam oprostiti i preći preko naših loših postupaka.

Moj savjet tebi bio bi da se ne osvrćeš na loše primjere u odgoju djece, da te ne bi te misli zaokupile i da ne budeš znao da se njih oslobodiš. Priđi životu smiren i optimista. Poslaniku, sallallahu alejhi ve sellem, sviđao se optimizam, obaveza je da se čovjek nada dobrome na dunjaluku, a Muhammed, sallallahu alejhi ve sellem, nam je najbolji uzor, on se ženio, imao je djecu, susreo se s tegobama braka i vaspitanja djece, u tome je veća nagrada nego kad čovjek sjedi neoženjen, te nemoj se suprotstavljati putu Poslanika, sallallahu alejhi ve sellem.

Potrudi se da saznaš više o načinima ispravnog odgoja djece, čitaj o tome što možeš više, jer ako uspiješ da podigneš zdravu porodicu, obrazovanu i vaspitanu generaciju, mnogo si uspio. Uspio si da osiguraš trajnu sadaku koja će ti valjati i poslije smrti. Prenosi, Aiša radiallahu anha, i kaže: “Ušla je žena s dvije ćerkice, nisam imala ništa da im dam osim jedne hurme, te sam joj je dala, ona podijeli hurmu na dva dijela, a sebi nije uzela da proba. Nakon toga je ustala i otišla. Nakon toga ušao je Poslanik, sallallahu alejhi ve sellem, pa sam ga obavijestila o tome, te reče: ”Koga Allah bude stavio na kušnju, bude imao neku od kćerki, to će mu biti štit od vatre.” (Bilježi El-Buhari, 1418, Muslim, 2629.)

Ukba bin Amir, radijallahu anhu, kaže: “Čuo sam Poslanika sallallahu alejhi ve sellem, da je rekao: “Ko bude imao tri kćerke pa bude prema njima strpljiv, bude ih hranio, pojio i odjevao prema svojim mogućnostima, one će mu, na Sudnjem danu, biti zaklon od Vatre.” (Ibn Madža, 2669)

Kaže El-Iraki: “Cilj je odgojiti ih i dati im ono što im treba od hrane i odjeće, u skladu s mogućnostima, dati im ono što im koristi od znanja, opomenuti ih na ono što im šteti, nekada i viknuti ili blago udariti, treba čovjek da bude iskren i da time želi Allahovo zadovoljstvo, jer će djela biti u skladu s nijetima nagrađivana, a jedno od dobročinstava prema njima jeste i to da ih ne mrzi, da ne pokazuje da su mu teret, jer sve to kvari dobročinstvo.”

Rečenica: “…biti zaklon od Vatre” znači: bit će razlogom da ga Allah udalji od Vatre, spasit će ga od toga da u nju uđe, a nema sumnje da će onaj ko ne uđe u Vatru ući u Džennet, jer nema trećeg, na to ukazuje i spomenuti hadis koji bilježi Muslim, a u kojem se kaže da će mu nagrada biti Džennet.

Ovo se posebno odnosi na žensku djecu, jer su ona slaba, nemaju snage, potrebno je da ima neko ko će im pomoći, sačuvati ih, za razliku od muške djece koja se razlikuju u svemu ovome. (Tarhut-tesrib, 7/67)

Allah najbolje zna!

Izvor: www.islamqa.info

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